Dollars and Centipedes

Hello, My Dear Old Friend Tellman, and a Royal Pissoff to all the idiots whom fill up my email using Tellman’s Good Name! I don’t know about you Tellman, but I am sick & tired of openning several emails per day, masquerading with your name in the email address. I don’t find out that they are Posers until I spot their real name somewhere hidden in the text. That is when my head begins spinnning around on my feminine shoulders, and I either delete it, or royally chew their asses out, like only a Canadian Woman true to herself can do. I would love to have their testicles bronzed and mounted on a damn steak plater to hang in my personal office. They all know that I am above average intelligence, ergo, I know exactly which one they are from the words they use in the first paragraph of their sales pitch, before they reveal the fact that they are not you and give me their damn name I have wasted my valuable and precious time on. Most Canadians will not tolerate lying or less than honest Business Practices by people like those, all men, utilize your good name and a fake email addy with your name in it as the Sender. If that’s not bad enough they use your name as their own several times throughout any email, because they are jerks trying to make a fast buck off of your good name, Tellman. They mass email these emails, and you must be on your toes to find the one time they use their own name, supposedly with your blessing & knoweldge. I do not believe that. This would be business suicide, and I would never ever condone any misuse of my own name as a Female Entrepeneur whom has 9 years invested in my own Business that I am extremely proud of. Few people in any Business, would give anything to have my name behind anything they sell, because I have not had a single solitary item or items returned in all of the 9+ years since I oppenned my own Shoppe. Everything I offer for sale comes with my own Certificate of Authenticity, as well as the Artist’s own Authenticity Certificate, on top of this, I offer an added 10% for the trouble I may have caused them. “The Customer is alway’s right, in my Shoppe”. Impeccible Manners are a Job Requirement to work for me. If I like a young person who is void of any manners, I gladly offer to teach them, and no high school or University Student has ever turned me down. It will serve them well when they no longer need a Seasonal Job to stay in School, and it is finally their turn to seek out the Career they dream of. Tellman, please be honest and tell me why it is so important to these nut jobs, using your name to glean my attention, are doing so? What in the hell do I have that they want? I need to know if you are foolish enough to allow so many morons to use your name for profit. We are both very business savvy, so I would imagine that you guard your good name with your life, just as I do! In Canadian Culture a person’s good name still means everything to us. Many deals are still made on a handshake and a person’s good name & Character. You gave me your personal email address once, and after my computer crashed, big time, & was sent to Toronto for repair or replacement, they retrieved as much info as they could, however it was my email, both business & personal, that was hit the hardest and my address book was a write-off! I have’nt been around lately, I’m disabled & the worst part of it is the muscle spasms that take control of my body in unimagineable pain. I never know when a big attack is on it’s way, and nearly 3 weeks ago as I was getting out of the shower, my entire leg went into spasm and I took a header into the door. The spasm was so strong it curled all of toes underneath my foot which caused the fall. It was about 0400 hours when it occurred, & luckily it was my 2 Best Companions who lay quietly outside the bathroom door together whenever I bathe, that went and woke my heavy sleeping hubby. This time it was our newest rescue of the Majestic Mountain Dog, known as the Great Pyrenees who was already 2 when she came to us in late November, & miraculously thanks to being a family member, being socialized, and having all the TLC she would take, has resulted in her growing a full 4 inches in height alone! Weighing in at a hefty 153 pounds, she jumped up on our bed and stood on top of my husband with her face so close to his it startled the crap out of him the moment he awoke and did’nt know what in the hell was going on! Our Coonhound stood on the floor and bayed her guts out until they got Dad out of bed and he tried to open the bathroom door but my head and shoulder were against it, & that is when Hubby knew I had fallen. I broke a couple of bones on the top of that foot, and it could’nt be casted because my foot was still in spasm, so I’ve had to get around in a wheelchair with heavy duty meds to help me cope with the pain. I sincerely apologize if any of the Tellman emails in my inbox that have collected while I was out of it, truly came from you. There are too many to read. I thought it was time I made you aware of your Posers. I would certainly want to know if someone was fasley using my name to make a quick buck. So, there it is. I’m starting out slow as the spasms have not let up. Pls be patient, I will get back to the real Tellman, as quickly as possible.
Wishing you, Peace, Love & Laughter,
Lori